The Asian American Experience of Generational Dissonance

Our exhibit draws from the theme of parent-child conflict experienced by the protagonist in The Big Sick, exploring the different ways that conflict is experienced in Asian American immigrant families and how these stories are portrayed in the media.

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The overarching theme of The Big Sick is the culture clash between Kumail Nanjiani’s Pakistani heritage and the typical customs of American society. Specifically, The Big Sick examines how Nanjiani navigates his parent’s traditional expectations as he develops an unexpected relationship with Emily, a White psychology student. Even though the movie is considered a romantic comedy, many people might say that the central theme itself is no laughing matter in reality. Like Nanjiani, many children of immigrants are torn between loyalties to their family (who endured incredible sacrifices in order to provide a better life and opportunities for their children) and growing up in an entirely different culture that is completely separate from the life that their parent’s experienced.

Movie Summary¹

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Intergenerational Conflict In Asian American Families

The overarching theme of our projects highlights generational dissonance in Asian American immigrant families. Our individual exhibits focus in on types of intergenerational cultural conflict that Asian American families face. This includes Kylie’s exhibit covering conflict over dating and marriage choices, Roshni’s exhibit highlighting conflict concerning career choice, and Makala’s exhibit discussing cultural beliefs, values, and norms. Additionally, some other themes will be sprinkled in to each exhibit covering themes involving conflict over pop culture, school, and socialization. The similarities between the three exhibits involves how they highlight the broader conflict between generations of immigrants. Asian American immigrant parents have strong sentiments regarding their children’s futures, and all three exhibits attempt to acknowledge these feelings. However, differences stem from Kylie’s exhibit highlighting specific marital and dating expectations, Roshni’s exhibit focusing on parental expectations of occupational prestige and societal status, and Makala’s exhibit highlighting the impact that a host-country’s society has on the attainment of traditional expectations. These differing expectations between exhibits create three different senses of generational conflict. The group project is relevant for sociology of Asian America as it highlights the recurring theme of generational dissonance in American media. Through analyzing our specific media objects, we attempt to ground Asian American stereotypes in sociological concepts and highlight the broad experience of Asian American immigrants in America. For media objects, Kylie used a Ted Talk, an NPR podcast, segments from poetry, and two movies. Roshni used various Asian American comedy segments, a television show, interviews, and a podcast. Makala used scenes from Asian American-centered movies and television shows, interviews, YouTube videos, and opinion pieces

Glossary

  • A clash between parents and children over cultural values. It occurs commonly among immigrant families that it is regarded as a normative experience.³

  • People born in the United States, with at least one first-generation (immigrant) parent. People born in Puerto Rico or other U.S. territories with at least one parent born in a different country are considered second generation.⁴

  • The expectation of children providing for their parents in a new country, and the children’s lack of understanding of their parent’s hardships regarding migration.⁵

  • The process by which migrants to a new culture develop relationships with the new culture and maintain their original culture.⁶

The Big Sick: Intergenerational Conflict

The scene below is a conversation between Kumail (a second-generation immigrant) and his parents (first-generation immigrants), and highlights intergenerational conflict due to clashing values.

Conflict in this scene is based upon…

  • Clashing values and views as it relates to dating, marriage, and sexuality

  • Prestige-focused career expectations of Asian American immigrants and the affects on their second-generation children

  • The impact that a host-country’s society has on immigrant children’s attainment of traditional expectations

“We have sacrificed everything for you… we have left our family we have left our home… I have not seen my mother for 15 years. Your father he had to do his graduate school again… There is only one thing we have ever asked for you Kumail. That you be a good Muslim and you marry a Pakistani girl. That is it. One thing.”

-Kumail Nanjiani’s Mother

Dating/Marriage/Sexuality-based Conflict

“If you don't want to be a lawyer, fine. If you want to do the stand-up comedy and embarrass us as a family, fine.”

— Kumail Nanjiani’s Mother

Career Expectation-based Conflict

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“Why did you bring me here if you wanted me to not have an American life? We come here but we pretend like we’re still back there. That’s so stupid.”

— Kumail Nanjiani

Difference in Cultural Value-based Conflict

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Notes

Intro Photos:

  1. Lionsgate. (2017). The Big Sick. photograph. 

  2. Nanjiani, K. (2017). The Big Sick. photograph.

  3. Lionsgate. (2017). The Big Sick. photograph. 

Other:

  1. Nanjiani, Kumail. The Big Sick, 2017. 

  2. YouTube. (2017). The Big Sick Trailer #1. YouTube. Retrieved December 16, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcD0Daqc3Yw. 

  3. Choi, Y., He, M., & Harachi, T. W. (2008). Intergenerational Cultural Dissonance, Parent-Child Conflict and Bonding, and Youth Problem Behaviors among Vietnamese and Cambodian Immigrant Families. Journal of youth and adolescence, 37(1), 85–96. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-007-9217-z

  4. Author, N. (2020, August 20). Second-generation Americans. Pew Research Center's Social & Demographic Trends Project. Retrieved December 16, 2022, from https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/02/07/second-generation-americans/ 

  5. Ishii-Kuntz, M. (1997). Intergenerational Relationships among Chinese, Japanese, and Korean Americans. Family Relations, 46(1), 23–32. https://doi.org/10.2307/585603

  6. Berry, J. W. (2003). Conceptual approaches to acculturation. In K. W. Chun, P. M. Organista, & G. Marin (Eds.), Acculturation, advances in theory, measurement, and applied research (pp. 17–37). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

  7. YouTube. (2017). The Big Sick (2017) - You're Not My Son Scene . YouTube. Retrieved December 16, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsmP1h809F4. 

  8. Nanjiani, Kumail. The Big Sick, 2017. 

  9. Lionsgate. (2017). The Big Sick. photograph. 

  10. Nanjiani, Kumail. The Big Sick, 2017. 

  11. Lionsgate. (2017). The Big Sick. photograph. 

  12. Nanjiani, Kumail. The Big Sick, 2017. 

  13. Lionsgate. (2017). The Big Sick. photograph.